Hansel and Gretel: Who Cooks in Your Kitchen?

The flawed sad life of children Hansel and Gretel is hardly worth repeating. Who knows why their mother was willing to sacrifice them to the wild in order to retain a few more morsels of bread for herself. And was she even their mother? Versions disagree and perhaps this wicked women was actually their step mother (as if that would be cause enough to leave them for wolves). Ultimately, the story plays out the paradigm that follows: women after puberty (not Gretel of course-- she was a child) become frightening witches. This begins with the young mother but only gets worse with age until finally there is nothing left of the helpless child, but instead an old crone takes their place. At penny-slaw we have been asking ourselves the following: what would have happened if the witch had actually eaten Hansel and Gretel? Would she have gained their power, that power of innocence and childhood? Does the blood of children lengthen her own life, like the holy grail or gift of ever lasting youth? After all, you are what you eat. In turn, the logical question we asked is this, what happens when you eat a cuppin or a muffcake? Do people that eat these sweets

<-- (Fairy Cakes)

become sweet themselves?  

The experiment ran as follows: Make 12 cupcakes and eat them all in one setting. Wait. 

The cupcakes were cranberry/orange/vanilla. The batter was smooth and pink. However, as soon as they went in the oven there was trouble. The finished cakes appeared green, more the color of a witch than the color of sweet salvation. Nothing a little lemon icing couldn't fix. After whipping the vegan butter with confectionary sugar and a few drops a lemon juice and zest for... well for zest... they looked good and creamy as new. It wasn't hard to eat them all, in face, it was hard not to. each morsel melted in my mouth with that perfect mixture of moisture and crumb. But the question remains, did they make ME sweet? No. Instead I fell asleep at 9:00PM and my mouth tastes like garlic and canker sores. However, perhaps the problem was that there was too much sour in the sweet cakes. After all, Hansel and Gretel weren't sour... or were they? After all, Gretel did push the witch into the oven. 

And thus begins the life of women. It starts with killing your nemesis and ends when you become her. Cupcakes or not, it's hard not to be bitter.